You could be having the best sex of your life with a partner who wows in and out of the bedroom and still let your mind drift to a little fantasy action on the side. Not only is daydreaming about getting down just plain fun, it's also healthy. Here are six scenes you're likely playing out.
December 16, 2016
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You could be having the best sex of your life with a partner who wows in and out of the bedroom and still let your mind drift to a little fantasy action on the side. Not only is daydreaming about getting down just plain fun, it's also healthy; normal sex fantasies help us uncover what we crave between the sheets—and out!—and give us the script to communicate those desires to our significant others. So if you spend a few seconds here or there in a sexual fantasy world, here are six scenes you're likely playing out.
1. Being dominated. We may call it the 50 Shades of Grey effect now, but let's be honest—many women craved being controlled long before Christian Grey came into our imaginations. Whether you picture your guy tying you to the bed or lightly tapping you with a feathered toy, you're in good company. Like, in the millions.
2. Taking the reigns. For this fantasy, you unleash your inner-dominatrix on a submissive man who's at your beck and call in the bedroom. In this role-reversal, you hold the whip—or handcuffs, hot wax, or battery-operated assistants—and tell your guy just what to do. Power's a rush, right?
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3. Doing it in a romantic or unusual location. In fact, a recent study showed this is our gender's No. 1 fantasy—more than 80 percent of us picture ourselves getting down in a candlelit hotel room with ocean views, or just outside that window on that sandy beach. We dream of having sex on kitchen counters—a la Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon in This Means War—or in the bathtub, all sensual and suds-up like.
4. Having sex with a stranger. There can be something thrilling about a no-strings-attached, no-questions-asked rendezvous with a handsome stranger. There's no relationship pressure, no drama—there's just sexual heat radiating between your bodies. Have a partner? Perhaps you could act out this fantasy together, bumping into each other as strangers in the night and silently heading back to one of your bedrooms.
5. Getting it on in public. While you may never actually whisper to your man, "I need you right now," smack in the middle of a restaurant, that may just be something you fantasize about. (According to the same study, nearly 60 percent of us do!) Maybe you'd love to sneak off into a stairwell, the risk of someone walking up or down on you part of the thrill; perhaps you picture it unfolding in a coat closet. Either way, I think the need plus the risk are what makes this fantasy so popular.
6. Taking on a role. Do you want a doctor to carefully examine your body, or a white-clad naval officer to whisk you back to your bedroom? Perhaps you have a thing for a sexy professor, or a personal trainer who's muscles you'd love to see work out in different ways. I think this is another kind of fantasy you can still enjoy even if you're partnered up—all it takes is a little creativity and a costume change!
What are some other totally normal sex fantasies, whether you're single or happily paired up?
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